To my mind, these friends were not the same people they’d been when they first married. It seemed to me if they were genuine in their desire to forge a new relationship, Bob and I, who had both enjoyed long, happy marriages, could have been stopped by considerations more common to the widowed.
Was moving forward with our lives a betrayal of the loved ones we had buried? As it happened, we were very much on the same page.
Three decades later, with my nest about to empty and my career aims largely realized, I knew that the focus of any new relationship would be something else entirely. Certainly a lot more “we” time than work demands and family life had afforded.
What I saw ahead was the winding down of my full-time career and an easing into a retirement that would be challenging to define. With Joe and me, the battles that we’d endured over the decades all had the same essential issue at heart: Whose time needs took precedence?
My own profile had spoken of compromise and mutual trust, dynamics that had proved essential during my marriage to Joe. Perhaps most appealing, just as I’d made clear in my profile that I loved my late husband, Bob wrote glowingly about his late wife of 38 years.
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This sort of 'shocked' reaction begs an obvious question.
Since when did remarriage become an equation formula that reads: Remarried = Forgetting?